Deflecting Compliments

The other day, a friend of mine on Facebook changed her profile picture to a gorgeous new black and white sophisticated glam shot. It was stunning in every possible sexylicious way. By the time I was able to point out and comment on her obvious beauty, she had 10 or so previous compliments noting how stunning she was.

“GORGEOUS!!” I simply wrote, because it was. And my beautiful, kind, thoughtful, friend replied back to my comment, “…spoken by the woman who has THE best photo – you are gorgeous!”

Whoa. Wait a sexy second… Do you see what she just did there? She deflected my compliment! It’s like she had a big shiny shield and “ping!” as my compliment was coming in, she lifted up her big ass heavy shield, “protected” herself from the love she was about to receive, and shot it back at me. Did I just engage into compliment war? That is so not sexylicious.

Women are incredibly notorious for deflecting compliments. When someone tells us we are look good, we reply, “Oh my God, YOU look good!” Or if we’ve done something totally rawesome and worthy of praise, we just wave our hand, as in “please, I don’t deserve what you just said, don’t be silly.”

YES YOU DO! YES YOU DO DESERVE THE COMPLIMENT YOU JUST RECEIVED! Stop trying to deflect it, and just accept it! You are SO damn worthy of this love, and MUCH MORE!

It is as if women are foreign to the concept of just saying “thank you.” It is as if saying thank you solidifies that we are WORTHY and DESERVING of that compliment we just received, and GASP! That could never be!

But we are, each and every one of us. You are entitled to recognition and love in a spotlight form, and whatever other form it comes in. It may make you slightly uncomfortable, but please get cozy with the idea. Whether you believe it or not, you need to hear it AND allow yourself the opportunity to soak it in. That’s just the sexy thing to do.

Listen my sweets, accepting a compliment politely doesn’t make you cocky, arrogant or rude. It makes you classy and lovable. It builds confidence and strength. It reaffirms to your sexylicious soul that it is allowed to feel delighted, and feeling that particular way does not have to leave you feeling guilty.

Bit by bit, it will become easier to accept those complements comfortably. Bit by bit, you will start to believe those compliments, to be truth. From there, it will become more natural to give an authentic compliment as a form of passing on love, rather than in a panicky reaction to turn the spotlight away from you. Who DOES that, anyways? Not you, gorgeous. You know better. Put down the shiny shield you’ve been using to deflect the love, and just allow it to rain on down.

Be sexylicious when someone compliments you. Give yourself permission, that moment of love, that recognition and that light. Just say thank you… soak it all in. And know that you are, in fact, worthy of the love, you gorgeous gal you!

Hugs, kisses, and butt slaps,


My BFF and I… the morning after a sleep over. We’re such gorgeous goofballs.


  1. I completely agree!!! 🙂 I think we live in a world where if we accept compliments (especially as women) we are looked at as conceited. Like anything, it’s such a bad habit, and a simple “thank you” goes such a long way. There’s nothing wrong with letting a compliment sink in before firing one back. I love what you’re doing. Great post!!

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