I was thinking the other day about Deirdre and our conversations…
Before the cancer, we talked about everything and anything… the big dreams, our hopes for kids, what we should plan for holidays, boys, food, what our families were getting up to, work and training, more boys, money, exes, friends, even moooooore boys… hahaha. I loved every big and little thing we use to chat about.
Those types of conversations were still there when she was in treatment. But it was different. Sometimes good, sometimes “bad” and sometimes with more urgency and hopefulness then before the diagnosis.
No matter what that girl was going thru… she was always so present and devoted to you when you talked. She made you feel like there was not a thing in the world that mattered more. In fact, I whole heartedly think that she believed that. I have yet to meet a more genuine person. I doubt I ever will.
SO… it got me to thinking… if my best friend were still here, what would she be saying to me, during regular old life, right now? Or even if I were so lucky to be blessed with one of our heart to hearts, what would her advice be about the sticky stuff going on in my life?
As I started to think of the talks that I miss so dearly, it made me think of the things that we should remind our best friends, OR ourselves, of whenever we can. There are so many little pieces, that are easily said, that can help keep our chins up or help keep momentum high for moving forward through the tough times of life.
Here are five that I’d like to remind you of, right now.
1. You’re beautiful
Miss Deirdre gave the best compliments to everyone. And they were so powerful, not because she used big descriptive or creative words, but because you could just feel that she meant it. If someone in your life looks great or is doing great, tell them. Compliments can go so far, beyond that moment or even that day. I mean, look at this… what were once compliments said by my BFF, are actual memories now. The words that she said? I couldn’t tell ya; all that fades with time… But how she made me (and so many others) feel, is unforgettable.
Something like this may make logical sense to us, but sometimes we just need a gentle reminder if we are caught up in the moment of trying to hard or modifying to quickly. What we want out of life is allowed to change – we are encouraged to modify, morph or grow! It’s just important that those changes are made first for us, before anyone else.
3. I’m proud of you
This is something that isn’t said enough. Deirdre was soooo good at it, though. And this girl had an unreal amount of pride to share. If she was happy for you or excited, she showed those emotions, shamelessly. And who doesn’t love that feeling? If you are proud of someone, tell them. Plain and simple. It may go further than you think.
4. The magic happens outside of your comfort zone
Supporting your loved ones to move out of their comfort zone is huge. All the good stuff happens out there… and as a main character in someone’s life, you should count it as your duty to help them move from the stale, predictable and confined space that is keeping them small… to the bigger, better, brighter space that they want to go… where all their dreams are waiting to come true. Be that person for someone.
Some of my biggest fears and confidence issues haven’t came from the hard things in my life, like fighting. They come from other places… places that seem so big and scary at times, that I don’t want to move or acknowledge it. But simple reminders, like the first step is always the hardest, can make the world of a difference. When someone is struggling or is fearful, be gentle. Remind them that it’s the hardest to get started, but that they will soon build momentum. It may take repetitive reminders, but when it comes to reflecting back and looking at progress, they can think of you and think, “she was right, thank goodness for her.”
Sending love, hugs, and buttslaps