I don’t consider myself a relationship expert. I post “McDooogs Relationship Advice” tips on facebook and twitter from time to time, when I feel like I have something worth sharing. Some of my “advice” is silly, (“If you pick a lemon, throw it away. Lemonade is overrated.”) and some is serious, (“Sometimes you have to walk away from what you want to find what you deserve.”) but I always put it out there with good intentions hoping someone will get something from it. If you get a laugh, great. If you have a moment that changes the direction of something you are going through, even better.
SO anyways! Why am I bringing this up? Just where am I going with this? Righto.
I don’t know about you guys, but sometimes I see these great, wonderful, charming people in “relationships” (and I use that term loosely) that makes me want to scratch my head and say, “Wait, what? He is with her? How is that even possible?”
Yah, I KNOW. It kills me!
I just don’t get it. Why waste the pretty?
So… inspired by that, here are ten relationship thoughts, reminders or tips, from myyyyyy point of view. The way I see it, doesn’t mean it’s right, wrong or even that this list of ten is all there is. (Oh, I’ve got more…) These are just some things that I’d like to share. Things that come to mind when I witness these fabulous folks in less than great relationships and situations.
McDooogs Relationship Advice, #1:
A relationship that doesn’t work out the first time, probably won’t work out the second time. Or the third. Or the fifth.
We are all romantics to some degree. We think that the more we try, the more we sacrifice and the more we give up proves how much we care about our romantic partner. I disagree. While in some special cases it may be true, 9 times out of 10 I believe that when we continuously give up our own stuff to try and make it work with another person, we aren’t proving how much we love them but rather how little we love ourselves. If a dude (or a dudette) wants to be with you, YOU aren’t going to need to change who you are to make it work out. Promise.
McDooogs Relationship Advice, #2:
If you have to keep wondering where you stand with someone, it might be time to stop standing and start walking.
If someone likes you, they will tell you. You will know they like you, AS WILL everyone else, because they will want to make sure that the world knows that you are off limits and that they are the lucky S.O.B. who snagged you. And quite frankly, you deserve that. Life is too short to be “with” someone who makes you think more than they make you feel.
McDooogs Relationship Advice, #3:
You already have one asshole, you don’t need another.
Why date, be in a relationship with or put up with assholes? No really, why? You’re better than that! A person needs to be a good person, mooooore times than they are not. It’s not the other way around… you shouldn’t be dating someone who is a complete dickhead to the world, and then occasionally acts like a ray of sunshine. It is not worth it in the long run and I assure you, hot stuff, that your friends and family don’t want to see you miserable. So just don’t do it. NEXT.
McDooogs Relationship Advice, #4:
Set your standards where you want them at the START of your relationship. Otherwise, don’t complain about how you are treated.
Remember when we were little and our teachers or parents told us to treat others the way we want to be treated? That works. But I’d like to add to or switch that… treat yourself the way you want others to treat you. Got that? The way you treat yourself sets the standard for the people in your life…. especially at the start of relationships.
McDooogs Relationship Advice, #5:
If a relationship doesn’t make you a better person, you are in the wrong one.
Plain and simple right? Find someone who brings out your BEST, not your worst. And if a relationship ends, and it doesn’t bring you what you want, at least let it show you what you don’t want and won’t settle for. When you have to start compromising yourself or your morals for the people around you, it’s time to change who you are spending time with.
McDooogs Relationship Advice, #6:
Cheating is a choice. Not a mistake.
If you want to date around or sleep with other people, be grown up enough to admit what you want and take responsibility for your actions. And if you are being cheated on… well… you are only as good as the company you keep. And I personally think you can do WAY better than that. Don’t let anyone make you feel disposable. You are too awesome for that, superfox.
McDooogs Relationship Advice, #7:
You should always have something that defines you as an individual, outside of your relationship.
Relationships are about two individuals working together. Don’t smoother each other. Keep what makes you different, which is probably the things that attracted your partner to you in the first place. And, if the unthinkable break up does happen, at least you still have an identity apart from what you were. Besides, in my opinion, you and your individual qualities are pretty dang rad, and I bet anyone with their head on straight would think that, too. Don’t lose your awesomeness.
McDooogs Relationship Advice, #8
Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you trust them again or what they did was okay. Forgiveness is for YOU. It means you choose to move forward with your life and not keep yourself in the past.
Not forgiving is liking drinking poison and then expecting the other person to die. It just doesn’t work that way. You may be changed by what happened to you, but you don’t have to be reduced by it. Take the high road… the road that leads to your happy future, not to the sad hurtful past. March on, rock star! Chin up and chest out!
McDooogs Relationship Advice, #9:
Every woman deserves a guy who respects her, and every man deserves a woman who appreciates his efforts.
Chivalry never died, some men just choose to ignore it. Ladies, don’t date those guys. And fellas, if you are the chivalrous type, and you aren’t being thanked or acknowledged, know that there are many girls out there who would line up around the block to be treated like a queen. Realize that the things you do, all your efforts, someone out there wants. Go find her.
McDooogs Relationship Advice, #10:
When someone treats you like you’re one of many options, help them narrow their choices by removing yourself from the equation.
You should never have to fight for a spot in someone’s life; if they want you there, they will make room for you. And if they continuously treat you less than wonderful or are undecided about how much they want you in their life, have enough respect for yourself to walk away. Like, go far. And don’t look back.
Sending love, hugs and buttslaps,