This past summer, I wrote a little piece called McDooogs Relationship Advice. If you missed it, you can check it out here. It got a ton of positive feedback on my facebook page and on my twitter … not to mention, the hits here on the blog were quite high, too. I’m guessing you guys liked it? 😉
It’s kinda funny, that I wrote about relationship advice. Because it’s not like I have any right to tell YOU what to do, who to date and how to go about things. I’m far from perfect when it comes to relationships. TRUST ME. But, as an outsider, it’s always easy to “know” what to do and say, right? Yet, when it comes to our own lives, huh… not so easy anymore, is it?
I decided to do a part 2 to the relationship advice post. I guess I have some things to say! And who knows… maybe, one day, there will be a part 3. Our learning and our experiences should never stop. And so, if I stumble upon more tips, thru either my own personal heartache or from witnessing my amazing loved ones go thru relationship heartache, there is a good chance that I will share/vent what I think needs to be said.
So… let’s get to it! Part 2 of McDooogs Relationship Advice!
McDooogs Relationship Advice, #1
Sometimes the best thing that can possibly happen to you in the long run is not getting exactly what you want right now.
As messed up as it may seem, not getting what you want from your relationship could be the single best thing that ever happened to you. He’s breaking up with you? Yeah, that totally sucks. A lot. But your next boyfriend? He is out there waiting, and is going to chomp at the bit to be with you. On top of that? He will likely want to thank your silly ex for breaking up with you, cause it freed you up for something way better: him. So, while it may suck now, in the long run, it may be the best gift he could ever give you. And remember, there are billions of people on this earth. That means there is a good chance that you will be awesomely matched with more than just that one dude who broke up with you. 😉
McDooogs Relationship Advice, #2
Relationships don’t create happiness, they reflect it.
How you feel in and about your relationship is a mirror image about how you actually feel about yourself. If you aren’t happy with YOU as a single (yet totally awesome) person, it’s likely won’t be happy as part of a duo. Enter into relationships as a whole. Know that you are the only person that can make you happy. YOU are your most important relationship. Everything else will work out because of that healthy acknowledgement and belief.
McDooogs Relationship Advice, #3
I don’t know means NO.
If someone is telling “I don’t know if I can be with you” or “I don’t know if I can _____” it actually means NO. As in, “No, I don’t want to be with you, and I’m too cowardly to tell you the truth.” I don’t know means no. Plan and simple. Don’t make excuses for them. And don’t allow them to make something more complicated then it needs to be. Cut the bullshit folks, and be straight up about where you are at. “I don’t know” is not an exceptable answer. Try YES or try NO. And if you truly “don’t know” and are wavering… well, as Oprah says, doubt means don’t. Please, be clear with those who you need to be clear with. Your future self will thank you for that.
McDooogs Relationship Advice, #4
You can’t get over headache until you let yourself feel it.
Often the thought of pain is actually a lot worse than the actual pain. And the point is to get thru it, not drag it out. Don’t avoid dealing with your stuff, whether it is a shitty part of the relationship or a straight up breakup. Don’t pretend like there is nothing to address. Face it, deal with it, and then move on. Whatever “moving on” means to you and your situation. And remember, pain… if dealt with correctly, can be life changing. Use it to your benefit. I believe in you, my dear. 🙂
McDooogs Relationship Advice, #5
Alone also means available for someone amazing.
McDooogs Relationship Advice, #6
Date the person you are actually dating… Not the person you want them to be.
Oh em geeeeee is this ever a big one. Especially for me. Yes, you can have faith in them and believe in all the self improvement that they are working towards. But holy crap, date the person that you are actually dating, not the made up version of the person that they COULD be. Seriously. Stop with the shit in your head. Date them and DEAL with them, as they are now. And if you don’t like who they are now, say buh-bye.
McDooogs Relationship Advice, #7
Real love doesn’t require a strategy.
Yes, relationships take work. But playing strategical game of chess? No way hose. The only strategy you should be involved with, is making your awesome life even more awesome. YOUR life. Not planning around someone else’s. Especially if they aren’t working towards the same goals! Strategy in relationships? Please, don’t do it. There is someone out there who will want what you want, and you won’t have to come up with strategies to make them want it or feel that way. They just will. Leave the relationship that makes you think more than it made you feel, my sweets. You’re worth more than that.
McDooogs Relationship Advice, #8
Nobody is worth giving up your dignity for.
You are defined by how you live your life, not whom you live it with, and definitely not by what you “give up” in order to be with that person. Remember, love yourself FIRST. If we have no self love, then we really have no love at all.
McDooogs Relationship Advice, #9
Busy is bullshit.
Now, I may get some hate for this one, but in MY opinion, if a guy or gal tells you they’ve been busy and that’s why they haven’t called, or that they have a really busy schedule next week, and probably won’t be able to hang… WELL… I call bullshit. If someone really likes you, and wants to date you, they will find time. Busy means they aren’t that into what you have to offer and their “busy” excuse is actually just polite rejection. Don’t take it personal. Just remember that someone out there, wants exactly what you have to offer. And they won’t be to busy to enjoy it.
McDooogs Relationship Advice, #10
Just because something doesn’t last, doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth your while.
It’s easy to be frustrated and hurt when relationships end or don’t work out. But try to remember, that it wasn’t necessarily a waste of time. Maybe it reaffirmed and taught you what you DON’T want, and can’t settle for. Maybe it showed you what you absolutely need, and that when you don’t get it, you are miserable. Let yourself learn from whatever didn’t last. Find the positives and take the lessons learnt with you forwards into the next relationship.
Hope you enjoyed and maybe found some truth in what I have shared. Bottom line is that you are amazing. And you are completely worthy of an incredible, faithful, fun, safe relationship. Please don’t settle for anything less.
Sending love, hugs, and buttslaps…