Here are seven things to start doing right meow, in your relationships. If you want. I mean… it’s cool if you don’t do them. But you should. 😉 H’okay? H’okay.
Free yourself of the wrong people: You will out-grow some of the people who are in your life. Plain and simple. If they are already weighing you down, free yourself of the unnecessary crap and just cut the ties. Every friendship or relationship in your life should be full of GOOD. No, no… scrap that… it should be full of GREAT. Anyone who lifts you up, brings out your best and adds to your life would probably count as a “great one.” And, if they are more of a jerk to you than the awesome friend you deserve, why would you want to keep them in your kick ass life? You’re worth more than somebody’s scraps, hot stuff. Do yourself a favor and walk away. Sayonara!
Let go of those who are gone: If someone has left you, all you can do is move in the direction of healing; free yourself from carrying that heavy emptiness. They are gone. Let them go. Accept that. Keep the good memories, but remember memories are still to be made. You still have so many people in your life who love you and want to be apart of your time. Let those who are gone, be gone. And then be there more completely with the ones who are still by your side.
Encourage and cheer: Sometimes, in relationships – whether it be with siblings, friends or romantic – things get predictable and routine, and we just assume that the people we adore know that we support them and want them to win in life. However, I am going to encourage you to become more of a cheerleader. Speak up and say more. Show more. Hug more. Make them feel special and important. Get a little crazy and do a funky little dance if you have to. Why not? If these folks are the ones you love the most, why do they get the least amount of praise? Love out loud!
Always nurture the relationship with yourself: Decide this minute to never again beg anyone for the love, respect, and attention that you should and WILL start showing yourself. Your life is defined by how you live it, not whom you live it with. Start defining YOU by loving you. Be someone who makes YOU happy. This may take time, to build a relationship with yourself, and that’s okay. Great accomplishments don’t happen overnight. Please, if you take anything out of this posting, just remember you cannot make someone love or respect you; all you can do is be someone who can be respected. You do this by first respecting yourself and loving you so completely that others will do the same. And if they don’t rise to the occasion? See tip number one, about cutting the crappy people out of your life. Adios amigo!
Side note: the fact that you are reading this post, and entertaining this thought about improving the relationship you have with yourself, shows that there is a part of you which exists that wants to grow, heal and become more committed. In you is a willingness to look, listen and learn, otherwise, why would you be here, reading a posting about improving relationships? Just trust your gut. If there is a small ounce of curiosity towards first improving the commitment, respect and love to yourself, then trust that and explore it. Work on improving and loving YOU, and the rest of your relationships will change, too. For the better. I promise.
Set boundaries: You don’t need anyone who doesn’t need you. No chasing allowed! Set up boundaries, to keep yourself from being walked all over. Not only that, but to keep YOU accountable to yourself. You don’t want to give up your dignity and self respect, right? Then know when enough is enough, for you. Know that you have boundaries and standards that you won’t break. And when you stand by these, so will everyone else in your life. But if even you can’t keep promises to yourself, why would anyone else? Set your boundaries and stick to it, superstar. I know you can do it.
Show gratitude: Routine and predictability can again leave the people who do the most for us, with the littlest thanks. Speak up and say thank you. And mean it. Know that a little gratitude goes a long way. It’s simple and it’s doable. And it’s time to start doing it.
Lighten the load: Just because someone loves and supports you, doesn’t mean they can be your only and everything. You need to have a life outside of them. Yes, your boyfriend is likely your best friend and biggest fan. But to be your only and everything? Yikes. No pressure there. How about you spread it out, rock star. Enlist your friends, family and coworkers. Don’t expect one person to be responsible for ALL your shit. They have their own. Yes, they will probably want to be there to help you in times of need (Hooray! We have good people in our life!) but that doesn’t mean you let them be responsible for your entire world.
Get it? Got it? Good.
Sending love, hugs and butt slaps…