“The more we love ourselves, the less we project our pain onto the world. When we stop judging ourselves, we naturally judge others less. When we stop attacking ourselves, we don’t attack others. When we stop rejecting ourselves, we stop accusing others of hurting us. When we start loving ourselves more, we become happier, less defended, and more open. As we love ourselves, we naturally love others more.” ~ Life Loves You, by Robert Holden and Louise Hay
I love this final chapter from Life Loves You, because it talks about self-love.
In my opinion, this is the most important type of love there is. With out it, the other “types” of love – such as romantic love for others, for example – can’t exist.
The idea of self love is a tough one for many people. We don’t believe we need to love ourselves, or we feel selfish and uncomfortable if we do show love towards ourselves. We are constantly putting others before ourselves.
But for what reason? Are we not worthy?
Of course we are.
Self love is not selfish. It is responsible. It is not narcissistic. It is necessary. And it is not vain. It is productive.
Holden writes, “most of the objections to self-love come from misconceptions of what love is.”
Perhaps it is possible that we have a misconception as to what self love is. And maybe, because we have looked at something in one way, for a really long time, it feels true to us. But this doesn’t make it true.
For example, you may have decided that the “selfies” you see posted all over Facebook or Instagram are narcissistic. Well, are they?
From my point of view, no not always. I mean, yes they could be a cry for attention. But couldn’t they just as easily be an appreciation for ones self? Could they not just be someone feeling proud of how they pulled themselves together, physically, that day? Could they not just be an expression of self love?
“Rethink!” Just because you’ve believed something for a long times doesn’t mean you have to think it forever. Think thoughts that support you and uplift you.”
In every given moment of our lives, we have the choice to choose between love and fear… love and pain… love and hate. What choice feels best? And with that, can we stop excluding ourselves? Choosing love over fear, pain or hate is not an equation that works for every moment, person, experience, except ourselves. We are included in that equation. We can choose to love ourselves the way we choose to give and love others.
It is wonderful, the possibilities that can unfold when one person makes a stand in this world for love.
So, let that stand be for you, first. You deserve it.
Sending love, hugs and butt slaps…