God, in this moment



I’ve been searching a lot the last few years. On a journey of trying to figure things out, grow closer to The Divine, and cultivate a lasting peace with in me. This journey is one which has me, at times, confused and questioning. A journey that gives me a sweet, small taste of connection and freedom, but an answer and a way of being that I can’t seem to make last.

My journey probably looks familiar to many others. My journey involves heartache and pain from lost loves… my journey involves packing up my life multiple times and trying to start over somewhere new… my journey involves self help seminars and work shops, books and podcast, yoga mats and hikes, journals and notebooks… I am a seeker. A packer-upper-whats-next-whats-out-there kind of girl. I’ve always been up for adventure, growth, and experiences.

My path and my journey have me looking for where the light is, aiming to grow deeper into that light. Seek, discover, add. Go, go, go.  I’m seeking, but it seems that as I search, I am also trying to hard, reaching and frantically grasping for any sense of peace I can along the way.

This doesn’t actually sound all that peaceful, does it?

It’s almost funny. I desire peace and connection but I can’t stop planning my days and to-do list of all the things that will “get me there.” Yoga. Meditate. Journal. Send love. Write. Read. Do this… do that… do, do, do.

Is this to-do list really bringing me closer to the peace and connection I want? I go and I do, and I check things off left, right and centre, but am I anywhere closer to my desired connection with the Universe, life and myself? Am I feeling anymore peaceful?

I truly want so badly to connect with the Universe and be in the flow and ease of that energy, that love, that peace. I want so badly to be always present, to give freely, to let go easily…

But I struggle getting there. And even more so? I struggle STAYING there, once I get a taste. Maybe you can relate?

Okay, so, pause. Story time: flash back to last week.

I was sitting in the chair at the hair salon, getting my fresh hair color washed out. My hairdresser seems to know when I want to chat and when I am best left to my thoughts and stillness. She washed my hair color out in silence that afternoon, the same silence that was present while she applied the dye to my hair less than an hour earlier. I was in deep thought. Dreaming and pondering connection. As she washed the red color out, a thought crossed my mind: Can I find God in this?

Whoa. Wait, what? Where did that come from?

As my startled thoughts tried to understand and control, something inside of me asked again, can I find God in this? Can I find God in this moment, in these people? Can I find God in this space?

Let me backtrack and share that the word GOD is not one I’ve been particularly comfortable with. Like, at ALL. EVER. But I’ve been seeking for more, as I do. And recently, I’ve been interchanging my go-to word the UNIVERSE, with the word GOD. But I haven’t spoken much of that word… just played with it here and there in my head. Never really committing to it.

But this moment… the voice in my head (or in my heart?) asked… “Can I find God in this?”

What happened next wasn’t magical or huge or mind blowing. But it was a quiet ah-ha moment as I looked for God in that moment. My ah-ha moment unfolded deeper as I confidently and whole heartedly answered to myself, God is in the hands of my hairdresser as she does what she loves to do. God is in the conversations of all the people chatting, as they get their hair done. God is in the warm water rushing over my head. God is in the breath I breathe in and the breath I breathe out. God is in the space between my thoughts when I am not listing where God is. 

I realized in that moment as I lost myself in thoughts of wanting connection and peace, as I suddenly discovered the use of the word GOD was less heavy, authority-like and demanding than expected… that maybe, maybe this is something I could (not should, because my to-do lists are long enough… but COULD) start looking for. A trigger, if you will. To bring me back down from wanting and searching for peace and connection, to actually noticing the peace already present and connecting to what’s already in front of me and in me. All by asking myself to find God in that moment.

So what a concept, right? That maybe I can find God in those moments, which are every moment. Instead of my to-do list of things which I want check off and which I do in order to try and be more spiritual and connected.

Don’t get me wrong, a lot of the stuff on my lists I really enjoy doing…

But Maybe God isn’t only on/in those lists. In fact, I know now God is more places than that: God is everywhere, because God is everything. The same way I always have believed that the Universe and that energy of love is everything and everywhere. God, the Universe. Whatever. Ya know?

Added bonus: Suddenly, God isn’t as scary of a word for me to us. What really shifted?

I don’t really know.

But I will take it.

Sending you love, hugs, and butt slaps…





Sharing your message


Just an idea: for every negative post you share about helpless animals being beaten or religious leaders killing innocent people – consider making at least one positive post to follow. Maybe the opposite of what you just posted, such as a stray animal finding a good home. I understand that by “sharing” negative stuff it can bring awareness to what is happening in our world, but it also feeds fear. It scares some people into turning away. Think of how many videos have you scrolled past on Facebook about, let’s say an animal being beaten, but you refused to watch the video because it hurts you. The average person must ask themselves, “has that message fuelled a change in me?” For most people the answer is no… if it hurts to look at it, we tend to look away from it. Therefore, no change created.

A lot of the great change that has taken place on earth was change that was inspired or fuelled by something “positive.” Of all the amazing leaders in history – MLK, Gandhi, Mother Teresa, all the names that stand out – do you believe any of them would have had the success they did creating change and encouraging peace by following a path that was heavily infused with fear? I don’t believe they would have. A less fearful and more loving path seems to create a stronger movement and change that is substantial and permanent.

If you want people to be aware of the nasty stuff going on, I applaud your awaken state. To live in awareness to what is really happening in our communities takes courage. But I also think if you live in that state of awareness, you have a duty to lead others to that place, as well. And in my mind, a truly great leader leads in a way that doesn’t grow fear, anger or hate, but rather opens peoples hearts in a compassionate manner, that moves them to make long-lasting life change. Finding a loving way to share our messages is the real way to creating momentum to changing in the world.

Like I said, it’s just an idea.

Sending love, hugs and butt slaps




I am grateful! Day 4: Freedom and Remembrance day

November 11th is the day. Remembrance Day.

Of course it is fitting to make this post of the Grateful Project about the freedom and peace I enjoy daily, and often take for granted.

Countless men and women put their own lives on the line in battle, so that we can enjoy ours in freedom. That is something to be grateful for.

I hope you stop and think today about how much you have. Even when things seem to be going wrong in your life… bills, car troubles, boyfriend or girlfriend frustrations… you still have SO MUCH. Strangers, who you will never know, gave up everything so that you could have all that you do.

Take this moment to be thankful, be grateful and remember.

Sending love, hugs, and butt slaps…